travel diary [oslo/norway 2005]

i just got back from oslo, a secret trip to norway that i'd accidently neglected to tell anyone about. in my defence it was organised last minute and wasn't a big deal. anyway, i didn't feel like travelling, it was more like visiting family. and it doesn't really warrant a travel diary either, but i have to write this up somewhere.

it was a nice change to my usual holiday format though, which i've been increasingly indulging in this year - in the last three months alone i've been further north, south and east than i've ever been before. that's progress. i'm branching out globally.

so, for the last three days i've been seeing in black and white. i can't remember the last time i experienced snow quite like this. there's me running about like a child again while everyone else goes about their normal daily business. that everyone is so casual about the snow is what makes it so incredible - this is how amazing winter is up here. thick snow covers every inch of everything. it's piled high on every tiny branch and leaf, the trees loving their new coats.

this actually started on friday whilst waiting to take off from london stansted. i was sitting on the nastiest ryanair plane (plastic seats, are you even joking?) and had the whole to myself. i'd had a narrow escape when a drunk, old and smelling couple chose the two seats infront of me. had they decided to sit next to me i would have had to move. it would have been a monumental pain since i was lugging a 10kg rucksack and a fig plant, which had suffered enough from me cycling it home clasped tightly in one hand and then being dragged across london earlier that morning. at least i would have had satisfaction in being suitably rude to this extremely rude pair. instead i mentally stretched sideways across the seats and stared from the window as the first snow flakes began to fall.

some time later, after making good progress through 'the sun also rises' and watching another passenger plane pass below us (it's tiny size giving an almost dizzying sense of scale), we we're coming into land at oslo torp. the landing was surprisingly smooth after the rather turbulent approach and i was soon struggling once more with my luggage. i had a total weight of 25kg (mostly made up of julie's books), but this didn't include all of the books rammed into my coat and trouser pockets. the staff at check-in had been thorough but forgiving.

i instantly take a liking to the norwegian people, they're super helpful and friendly, especially the coach driver. we pass over and through some dramatic (at least at night) mountains and fjords. it reminds me of wipeout and i'm glad to be in another country. there's no reason why it should feel different, i'm on an bus full of english people and this is only landscape, but it does. i was engrossed in my book and sligthly concerned about my missing my stop, so when the driver announces the next stop is lysaker i'm relieved it was so easy. moments later he pulls up by the side of the road and i'm worrying again. no one is getting off the bus and this doesn't even look like a stop. the person i ask says it isn't lysaker. but i don't know. one never knows. at least until i hear julie calling my name and i'm desperately trying to pull my bulging back from the overhead locker. oh it's too embarrassing but at least i'm where i'm supposed to be.

the evening goes well. julie's parents have a lovely cosy home and the dinner was well recieved after the long journey. hemingway's constant talk of spain and drinking made me need that wine. for pudding we made proper pavlova (which was a bit gross because me and tommy had eaten a whole pavlova from the co-op the previous night) and then slept in the tinniest bed.



we accidentaly woke up later than we'd planned on saturday. this shit happens, but i swear it's because the curtains were drawn, not because i set the wrong time on my phone. we got layered up and headed into town, catching the train from a station just across the river. once in the middle of oslo we went on a little wander. there is a distinctive foreign feeling but since i've never been to scandinavia before it's not something i recognise at all. what oslo feels like is a very nice and reasonably large town. one with a very nice council building. i'm sure it transforms into something really incredible. it's also too big to photograph.

we walked along the fjord front (is that what it's called) and up to the fortress. from here you can see across the chilly fjord, with it's specks of islands and the distant mountains. after this we went to get drinks at the nicest cafe in town. it really was lovely though. and packed too, it's quite a thin but long building. we climbed a narrow spiral staircase (i'm not sure how large people manage) onto a snug balcony area, where we order cake, tea and coffee. compared with the bite outside this cafe is the coziest place, you can almost imagine yourself sitting on the rug by the roaring fire as you slowly sip your coffee. i love brown cafes. i really do.

from the cafe we walked to a square where all of the political rallies are held, today it's a hosting a christmas market and we drink gløgg (kind of like mulled wine). we decide to visit the park, and on the way pass the blitzhuset. it's been an occupied house for nearly 20 years but of course the people in high places are trying to shut it down. unfortunately it wasn't open. the blitzhuset is also the birthplace of edvard munch, you can tell because the exposed wall of the house is decorated with a huge mural of the scream.

after what appears to be a rather random route julie manages to get us to the vigeland park. the park is decorated by hundreds of sculptures by the artist gustav vigeland. rows of bronze naked people line the bridge across the frogner pond and in the distance is a huge column, one giant pile of granite bodies. me saying it like that makes it sound quite grotesque but it really isn't.

we cut across a graveyard and catch the train back out of oslo. before we returned home we made a brief stop at the 'kiwi' supermarket (greener than you'd imagine) for beans and pizza stuff, then it was quickly back into the lovely, warmth where we busied ourselves making pizza. i challenge you to make a nicer pizza, it just wouldn't happen. we spent our evening on the sofa with norwegian tv and wine. the only thing that ruined a perfect evening was that we missed all but the very end of the children's eurovision.



sunday morning is the time for the proper english breakfast that julie has been missing so much. her parents have this crazy weird cooker hob. it's touch sensitive and i don't really like it. i'd prefer a hands-on interface and this one is hidden and obscure. i have no idea what the cookier is doing but breakfast is just fine.

i borrow some proper shoes (because my trainers wouldn't be able to stand last night's snowfall) and we drive out into the forest, picking up phoebe (a friends dog) on the way. once in the forest your mentally miles away from everywhere. and apart from the odd gun shot from the nearby firing range it's so quiet and peaceful. it is snow in every direction and the light-grey sky wraps the winter around you. it's so outdoors.

we walk through the dense evergreens, currently looking pretty white, and slowly make our way up wards. i dawdle, taking in the forest and taking photographs, so julie and dog are constantly waiting for me. i'm also crap on ice and slip a couple of times. julie thinks i'm complaining but actually i want to go slower because i'm enjoying it so much. sunday's aren't for rushing. not when you're surrounded by proper snow.

an hour later an we arrive at our destination, the brunkollen, a magical pocket of warmth on top of the mountain. condensation covers the windows and as you walk inside the building everything steams up. her parents had run ahead and offer to get us drinks. all the way here i had an urge for hot blackcurrent beechams, so i ask julie for hot ribena and they actually do it! it's not ribena, but it's called solbærtoddy and i'm so impressed with norway. her parents leave and take the dog with them and then we made a pretty quick exit ourselves. it's getting dark and we have to rush to make it off the mountain before dark. we take the quicker route along the road but it's still slippy. i swear at any moment i might have slipped and fell to an icy death. the things girls put you through. i couldn't resist a few snowballs but julie wouldn't give in to a full blown snowball fight.

the sun is setting and the frozen sky begins to burn in the west. the fiercest pink flares up against the cold grey of the dusk, the whole scene is transported into a completely different realm. through the trees and across the østernvann lake it looks like oslo is on fire.

we make it to the lit path just in time. snow flakes are dancing beneath the lights and the snowy path is beautiful in the sodium orange light. at its end we turn left along a main road and then take a short cut across a ploughed field and the golf course. crisp orange snow rolls out in every direction. i was so young the last time i was surrounded by snow this good. unfortunately the sensibility of my age stops me from giving in to the urge to roll about in it and thoroughly mess myself up.

once home we immediately jumped into the shower and then helped prepare dinner. after this we lazed infront of the tv and watched what was left of 'the bourne identity'.

most of monday morning was spent packing. actually, most of it i spent in bed after a rather bad sleep, but this was okay. my bags were easy to pack as most of my luggage was julie's stuff. when i was catching my coach to oslo torp airport she'd be getting her coach back to copenhagen (where i'm going to be living, innit). it was her turn to have an insane amount baggage. her dad kindly drove us to the bus station where we had a short wait. to use the toilet there you to pay 10kr, nearly a whole pound. i stood outside and waited next to some other guy. after he left i suddenly realised that he wasn't waiting because it was engaged, he was just waiting for me to go in so he could follow me for free. he'd made me think it was a single cubicle. for a quid it was a nasty toilet and i left someone else in when i left. i wasn't sure if that annoyed me or not.

returning from the toilet there was a large queue forming for my coach and i only just managed to get on it, leaving julie to struggle with her many bags. as the driver pulled out i began to read one of dan brown's stupid books and munch on the chocolate crunchy things that julie had given me. the colours of the landscape were just amazing, the blue of the snow and yellows of the low sun. i thought nowhere really looked like this outside of books and movies. i would have taken a hundred photos (like the woman behind me) but i didn't get a window seat. there was no way i could shoot past the sleeping kid next to me, his ear phones blaring some awful techno.

at the airport i searched around for somewhere selling a notebook (to begin my write up) but there was nothing. i found solace in the best chocolate milk and resigned myself to the fact that it was going to be just me and dan brown the whole way home. the conveniance stores are gross though, they sell hot dogs by the counter and they stink. the other thing that bugged me was the three people who mistook me for a girl when entering/leaving the toilets (one of these was actually at stansted). why does that always happen to me at airports?

i was getting fed up with so many people moaning about the queue and their ticket numbers, it was just petty. so i got myself a lovely aisle seat right at the front of the plane. this meant that as soon as it was time to leave i'd be first off, first through passport control and first to get my luggage. i jumped on a train thirty seconds before it left for london and arrived at liverpool street at eight. this even gave me time for a pad thai with ben and martin before we found our way to cargo to see smoosh.

the rest is history.

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