31.10.2007: i haven't lived in england for nearly two years, and having been back for not even a week i'm shocked at how quickly it's going to shit. to shit absolute. you can't find one person on the street who hasn't got something to moan about. and they're all assholes.

all the demonizing of muslims and immigrants, whilst remaining completely ignorant about what england's done to destory these people's home countries, or why they've needed to come here. believe me, no one wants to come and live in this disgustingly racist country where they get treated almost as badly as cattle with foot and mouth.

and that's the short term problem. in the long term it's even worse. the next generation is going to burn this country to the ground before they even get a chance to run it. and that's me being optimistic.

we had one of my old teachers round last night (which was very nice) and he told me about a survey that asked kids what they want to be when they're older. the most popular answer was celebrity. the next generation and they've got their sights set on being the scum of the earth. they want to be as worthless as possible. all fame and no content. i can't tell you how much i detest celebrity culture and it's dug itself deep into the heart of the country.

where does this mentality even come from? what's the problem? why are we so fucked? the problems are so huge the answer must be obvious. it must be staring you in the face. in the fucking face. do you spend too much time watching tv? too much time reading tabloids? too much time looking in the mirror?

actually, i know exactly what the problem is. but i'm not going to tell anyone, because i don't give a shit either.


anyway, amongst other things, i've finally got my pumpkin carved. and just in the nick of time too (late due to lack of inspiration). he's a sorry looking fellow, but he's great and you'll love him. i'll be sure to take photos at some point. and next year i'm definitely doing the quintesson judge.

30.10.2007: there aren't many things england's good for. i mean, there's branston pickle and marmite. and flapjacks, especially bakewell ones. but what i miss the most is baked potatoes with cheese and beans. it's hard enough to get decent baked beans in other countries, nevermind them married with a baked potato. that's impossible. so i'm planning on eating as many baked potatoes as possible whilst i'm here. also with coleslaw.

i'll go easy with the flapjacks.

i don't know why i'm talking about baked potatoes either. i guess i just really like them.

no, like seriously.

anyway, i was seeing my osteopath earlier and i'm terrible at my right and left, especially when under pressure. when i was younger i remembered left because it was the side my socks where on in my underwear drawer. that worked fine until my underwear storage method was shot to shit. by then i knew my left because it was the easy direction to turn on my bike. turning right you had to move into the middle of the road and cut across the traffic. at least it was until i left england, and now it's all the other way round. it's enough to confuse anybody. i'm not sure why i can't remember right because it's the hand i write with, or it's the direction i read in, but nevermind. left and right, it's just bloody stupid.

and now i need to carve my pumpkin.

28.10.2007: i wish i could say i'd planned it, but traveling back to england on the day the clocks go back an hour was a brilliant accident (there's a knobby word for that but i wont use it). it's great, because when after sleeping the longest time i've slept in the longest time (which is ok anyway, when after the shortest sleep on the plane the night before - a painful two hours) i'm actually out of bed at a reasonable and respectable time.

i did wake up in the middle of the night and have a mild freakout, not knowing where i was or why i felt so strange, but that is ok too. and also it's never happened to me before. well, apart from that one time when i woke up in brixton after sleeping with my head too near the radiator and i thought i was in africa. that was pretty fucked up, and probably for the same reasons.

the air just feels so different here. it feels like home. i first notice it when i'm sitting on the toilet and i can see my breath. it's no colder, it's just more english. when applied to the weather that's a good thing (you may want to argue about that later), but when applied to the people it's something else entirely. standing in the check-in queue i couldn't help but cringe at the people around me. it didn't help that they were mostly brummies. which is shockingly racist of me, but no one gets offended when someone mentions how ozzy osbourne talks like an idiot. it's not the drugs, it's his accent. they're nice enough people, but i swear they're trying to kill me with their conversations. i'm ok, it's just dehydrated.

and then the airline do me for excess backage, to the value of 21 dollars, the weight readout just clicking over from 22kg to 23kg at the last minute. the man offered to let me move stuff from my suitcase to my carry-on bag, he was even enthusiastic like he didn't want me to pay, but i politely refused and tried to avoid telling him that'd be impossible since my hand luggage was already full of books, and thank fuck he hadn't asked to weight that too (they have become very strict, it's rubbish). if i'd not been so desperate for water and distracted by the pale and wrinkled man who was at that moment being carried out on a stretcher, and who had spent the last long five minutes having his chest repeatedly pumped, and who had no idea what the fuck was going on due to being very unconscious, if it wasn't for all that i would have taken out a bunch of books and just carried them until i got to the departure lounge and put them in a "duty free bag", saving myself a few bucks. nevermind.

going through security they all kept asking me if a particular bag was mine. well, no. and then the woman whose bag it was said it wasn't hers either, which was quite confusing. but then she admitted actually it was hers, and continued to act all dumb and english as they bought out the sharpest pair of scissors i've ever seen.

but anyway, now i'm back. sitting in my room and surrounded by the shame of my addiction. fresh plastic bags all over the floor and stacks of books filling every surface, waiting to be shelved and filed.

anyway..

26.10.2007: it wasn't comic sans, but it was close enough to nearly ruin the film. it's last thing you want when watching a japanese horror movie - subtitles in comic fucking sans. who even thought that was funny?

despite the dreadful typography, 'nightmare detective' was a reasonably enjoyable film. i mean, it wasn't 'tetsuo iron man', but then it wasn't supposed to be. nor was it anything new, but i guess that is ok too. i was satisfied by the industrial metallic crunching and grinding noises made my the invisble nightmare creature as it hunted its victims. actually, it wasn't invisble exactly, but nevermind. a blood covered hulking mass of flesh and knives. rubberjohnny all gone wrong.

i don't really have anything to say about the film, i just wanted to point out and complain about the terrible font. and really i should be packing or preparing or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing when going away. i'm just tired and lonely and can't be bothered. i'm just waiting for the next many many hours to finally get home. the plane doesn't even take off until eleven. then they'll try and sedate me with a shit film and bribe me with shit food.

there's nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night, not knowing where you are, and staring out the window to realise you're at 35000ft flying through the air in a giant aerodynamic metal penis. worst fucking thing. worse than comic sans.

25.10.2007: this morning, on the radio. still. you would think there was no real news. and they're asking "was it just a publicity stunt?". i don't even know what station this is, but they're saying "well we're still talking about it", three whole days later. like they're determined to prove their own point. or how fucking moronic they are.

they could just get over it, but then i almost fell into the same trap. almost. instead i elevated it to some kind of meta-state, which somehow makes it ok. and i haven't even told you what crap they're still covering, because really you don't need or want to know. besides, it could be anything. try radiohead. try jk rowling. try whatever.

garbage in garbage out. the perpetuation of garbage. and i'm only making it worse.

but here's a lovely article detailing the 'nice' companies that have fallen. pete and johnny, who never existed anyway. green and blacks, likewise. rachel's organics, who was at least a real person until she sold to dean foods. as was tom of tom's of maine. etc etc, blah blah blah. and seems like they're all lamenting the decision, or at least most of them. well, duh.

anyway, i miss compiling errors.

23.10.2007: julie has had me taking photos of trees. as a subject i find trees really difficult to photograph. especially when it's the girdling roots or confined space that is of interest. or the tree is too thin and doesn't stand out from its cluttered background. it doesn't help that light has been poor. this makes me feels like a bad photographer, because poor lighting conditions is a rubbish excuse. it just means my settings are wrong, or i'm using an incorrect lens, or just something. i don't know.

but then the sun comes out, and during those five minutes all the photos i take suddenly pop. they have colours and contrast. life and energy. all that corny shit. the sky remains blue without details becoming murky. it's like it was the lights fault all along.

so some more photos of our autumn:

and i just cooked the best dish. autumn incarnate. roasted pepper squash stuffed with rosemary and mushroom risotto. plus all the usual secret and magical ingredients. the only thing that could make this moment more autumny is pumpkin pie and a large glass of hot apple cider. and a roaring open fire. and chestnuts. and..

ok i guess it's not that much like autumn at all.

i'll settle for a chiapan hot cocoa.

22.10.2007: we're on the brink of autumn like it's going to last forever. stuck in a dying summer that will never end. trapped in an orange and yellow snapshot of crisp leaves and evenings spent amongst so many garden patios. the end of the world is glorious. and have the squirrels even begun hiding their nuts yet? they'll never survive the winter. if it ever actually arrives.

anyway, i've decided i'm going to join the circus. i don't really have any talents but i can always start by shovelling the shit. someone has to deal with all that elephant and lion dung. incontinent clowns, the ones that really let themselves go. i figure i can work my way up from there into the kitchen. or the makeup department. maybe i could start juggling the utensils. i could teach the trapeze artists rubik's cubes. or teach the monkeys to count in binary. give them some flair. who knows.

it's a great idea.

and here's another one. instead of me trying to justify my weekend, why don't you tell me about yours? focus on what made it special. bonus points for dirt.

21.10.2007: sunday, and all of a sudden it feels like christmas morning. lying on the bed with the sheet over my head, it still warm from the dryer, and i'm filled with a joy which brings me to tears. it's a christmas from many years ago, when they were still washed in magical childish excitement. when it meant mountains of presents and the whole family. not that we ever had much a family, but back then we were more than just four.

and all that christmas shit i've convinced myself i hate. the big stupid tree with all that glittery tinsel and so many bourbels. oranges spiked with cloves. homemade mince pies and sosmix roles. all that crap on the television and drunkards in the street singing stupid carrol songs. a snowman if you're lucky. and cliff richard can fuck off too.

lying on my bed over 3000 miles away i'm reminded what it used to be like. picturing all my friends wrapped up warm and sitting around the fire. the dinner table full of so much food. grandparents wearing stupid crepe party hats. how special it used to be. how it wasn't an event because of the commercial overtones or the religious undertones, but because of what we made of it despite them. how i've slowly lost that and now totally thrown it away. how this year i've completely ruined christmas.

20.10.2007: uninspired? uneventful? apathy? none of the above? or worst, all of them? probably, i don't know. i haven't had anything interesting to say (not that i mean i do other times). and i can only be so pretentious whilst talking crap about how great and terrible autumn is.

to fill the gap the next radio emoware track is up. i'll try and get through these more quickly, because i know you wont like them. i thought it'd be entertaining to see how aggressive i can take it. and grilly assures me 'the mullet burden' is the heaviest track he knows. it's music that makes me want to beat my wife. random old people. dogs. just anything. i think smell is the sense with the strongest emotional recall, but music definately has the greatest power to bring out rage. to make the worst person out of you. with its perfect balance of words and noise. it's like meaning and action all wrapped up into one perfect package.

not that you can even hear those words. i have no idea what they are. i'd rather not know. it's about the feeling they convey, the delivery, that is what's important.

elsewhere, i am actually doing things (who am i kidding?). we made it out to the opening of the toronto afterdark film festival, people dressed up as dead people and some film about rat zombies in new york. or should that be zombie rats? i don't know. i'm not sure what i thought of the film overall, it kept flipping between being ok and not being ok. i enjoyed it, sure. but i'm no zombie film connoisseur. not that there was anything new in this film anyway. it made me want to watch 28 days/weeks later. it made me want to listen to godspeed you black emperor. made we want to speak in an unnaturally low voice, "we're all so many drunks with the radio on and the curtains drawn. we're trapped in the belly of this horrible machine, and the machine is bleeding to death".

no wait, that was something else.

maybe it was something to do with being denied the right to speak to a lawyer.

18.10.2007: everything slows in the fog. even inside or underground where there are no windows, like the feeling permeates through the walls. everyone walking in slow motion. and out the cafe window, out of the corner of my eye, cars zip by like they're in fast forward. it's the spookiest thing.

when it gets darker the wet tarmac creates an abyss where the road used to be, the cars in bright white and red verticals stretching all the way down.

and the subway doors still wheeze. seems like nothing can breathe properly in this city.

send more pumpkin pie.

16.10.2007: incase you were wondering what season it is:

and i'll be in england soon. don't forget about me.

15.10.2007: sitting here now it feels like i haven't done anything all weekend. like it slipped by whilst i was feeling tired and miserable. it feels like i could have spent the whole weekend sleeping. but i know this isn't true.

on friday night, under the cover of darkness, the newmindspace kids had organised a 1000+ person game of capture the flag that spanned the entire financial district (three blocks wide and six blocks deep). it was somewhat chaotic, running around the underground PATH system whilst it was still open, dodging security guards (a very unwilling extra third team) and trying to hide in the shadows. "running down the backstreets". getting across king street was damn difficult, especially after the security guards started getting serious, but on bike it was almost too easy. i even had the opportunity to carry the flag back, at high speed, but since i didn't have my lights i wasn't too happy about my prospects. i let someone else take the glory. and apparently we won 2-1. you could spend the whole game not knowing what the hell was going on, which i guess we did. i didn't even know where our flag was. anyway, there's nothing more fun than chasing after someone with a purple glowstick wrapped around their neck. "raverbashing, let's go"..

wow, two ATR quotes in one unrelated paragraph.

we were up early on saturday to do a hike along the don valley, which was really a walk, but still very pleasant. it was proper autumn-core. we made it to the brickworks farmers market where i got (not literally) sick on free samples. all food there is incredible. and they sell some amazing chiapas/oaxaca cacao.

then i wasted a good few hours in a coffee shop trying to read but mostly just making up stories in my head about the clientele. a bunch of guys came in and started talking loudly about youtube and adsense. all this ecpm stuff they didn't think anyone else understands. ha, you're sitting next to professional search engine geek.

and we had our second food not bombs meeting over in the lovely victory cafe. it started good, but then we were kicked out of our room and into the cold (the upstairs only opens at 9pm). toronto food not bombs might be destined to only have its meetings outside. no wonder the group has always fallen apart. it went well though. and i had a nice few cups of pumpkin ale, which was smashing. wait, i didn't mean that sentence, it was completely unintentional.

afterwards we cycled west to some random house party. not really a 'house party', it was far too grown up for that. upstairs they'd arranged a bunch of instruments as a jamming space. i got to play a really nice rickenbacker really badly, which was fun if not a little awkward. after the couple of beers i wasn't quite up for the challenge. having a brace on my wrist didn't help either. i'm no jonny greenwood. still, it made me miss my bass. and wish i knew how to make it sound that good. (really it's just having the amp loud enough). the dog was a bit scary tho, leaping at me from his bed when i was looking for the bathroom. you don't walk around at a party terrifying the quests. although i'm sure that's exactly what i tried to do when i was younger.

sunday comes and sunday goes. we had pancakes for breakfast. and gnocci for dinner. and we went the bloor cinema to see the simpsons movie, for the cheap price of five dollars. i love that cinema, all it needs is homemade cakes and a better soundsystem. for five bucks you can't complain. the movie itself was surprisingly entertaining (i was expecting the worst, so). i think it had way too much 3D modelling though, but that as it criticism just makes me look like an asshole. so nevermind.

12.10.2007: clap clap clap, al gore you finally won something.

but why my snide comment? i've been trying to figure that out ever since i heard he'd won the nobel peace prize, whilst lying in bed this morning. maybe i just don't like winners..

i thought his documentary was good, i even said it was important (as long as people were still gasping at it). and it's undeniable that he's done a lot for raising awareness about man-made climate change. it's also great that the nobel prize is recognising environmental issues (unless it's only because it's been a particularly bloody year and there's no one deserving of a 'peace' prize). so i think it's not that i don't like winners, it's that i don't like celebrities.

so excuse me while i bring up george monbiot again, whose book surpasses al gore's documentary in scientific rigour, scope and message (it has less jokes, but then the subject isn't particularly funny). when it comes to dealing with the imminent disaster of climate change our monbiot (yes, our) is kicking ass and taking names. he could have al gore as well, so why is he less 'succesful' than al gore? it's because he's not a celebrity, people don't pay him extra attention because he's everyone's favourite almost president there's a reason everyone called 'the inconvenient truth' the "al gore documentary", hardly anyone would have watched it had been made by a nobody (or maybe it was dubbed that because half of it was about al gore? i don't know).

i'm not saying monbiot should have won the prize, i'm just using him as an example. one of many. really, al gore wins the prize for making the best use of his fame. is that what the nobel peace prize should favour? popularity? maybe it should. it's tricky. but it's not like al gore needs the attention and coverage, all people are talking about now is the possibilities of him running for president, sheesh.

but anyway there's another issue at play, and paul kingsnorth sums it up quite nicely:

The very success of environmentalism has allowed [the deep greens'] wan cousins, the light greens, to take over the debate. The light greens believe that environmentalism is all about making human society more 'sustainable.' They're practical people. They believe that renegotiating our relationship with the rest of nature is futile and idealistic. They see humanity as 'stewards' of the planet, self-evidently its most important inhabitants. Environmentalism, for the light greens, is a utilitarian exercise. It's not about morality or beauty or philosophy; it's about clean technology, sites of special scientific interest and the acceptance of some regrettably necessary environmental degradation in the name of human progress. Most light greens see environmentalism as part of left wing politics, and believe that reforming the existing order can 'save the planet.'

kingsnorth goes on to suggest that maybe climate change is a good thing (from a hardcore stance you understand, that neither he nor i are exactly claiming to take) - "If it really kicks off it will wreck human agriculture, slow or stall the industrial economy and maybe even plunge us into a new dark age. It will, in other words, stop in its tracks the greatest threat to life on Earth". or at least it will kill off the poor, and where will the rich be then?

i'm not sure that's what they meant by "do or die", but when they called themselves 'earth first!', they meant earth first. not second.

but hey, at least it wasn't bono.

on a more personal note, i can't wait for porridge season. it's almost upon us.

and to think i was going to write about grant morrison today.

11.10.2007: actually, the scariest thing about the subway is the wheezing sound made by the doors out onto the street. like an orchestra of crying tortured babies. that shit really gets you going in the morning.

anyway, i got bored so i went to toysrus. i don't know why, i just figured it'd be something to do. once upon a time i loved that store. and i remember so clearly that time i went in and it was no longer fun. it was a depressing day. how old was i? ten maybe? perhaps a little younger. it was probably around the time i discovered masturbation. that'd figure.

anyway, i was surprised at how many rubiks cubes they had. not fancy ones, just the standard 3x3 copied many times over. i was also shocked at their literature selection. over half of the books were harry potter. and again, not all of the harry potters, just the deathly hallows taking up half of the shelf space. then i spent a few minutes watching the old animated transformers movie with subtitles in spanish. i'd have played with the toys except i was too busy being disgusted at how half of them didn't even transform. and so what is the point of that? terrible.

to cheer myself up i bought a small selection of yoghurt coated nuts and berries. my own selection, including cranberries. only what passes for yoghurt coating here is just jizz. so now i feel sick.

and with comments like that you'd be wondering what exactly is going through my head. really i'm trying to work out whether it's metaphor or simile. or whether that's even important.

and hurray for naomi klein dissing bono. her comments are nothing new but it's good to be reminded. there's an advert down on the street for a mobile phone, it's claiming the phone's been designed to help eliminate AIDs in africa. the phone. i just hate marketing and i hate corporations. i'm also not keen on irish pop music. and i wish i could better argue with the 45 million dollars the campaign has raised. although i probably wouldn't need to if only all the 'red' companies made their marketing budgets public. the point isn't that money being donated is going to advertising (it's not, unlike with a lot of charities), but rather more money could have been raised if those asshole companies had simply given their marketing budget straight to the global fund. or alternatively they could donate all the money they've saved by exploiting sweatshop labour and exploiting the commons (yes i finally got around to reading 'tragedy of the commons'). there's your justice.

blah blah raising awareness. but blah blah promoting capitalism. and blah blah diametrically opposed to ending poverty. blah blah blah.

i'm sorry for being so fucking boring.

10.10.2007: to be complete, here's a list of the songs jammie thomas is being fined $220,000 for sharing online. here's the list to name and shame:

• Guns N Roses "Welcome to the Jungle"; "November Rain"
• Vanessa Williams "Save the Best for Last"
• Janet Jackson "Let's What Awhile"
• Gloria Estefan "Here We Are"; "Coming Out of the Heart"; "Rhythm is Gonna Get You"
• Goo Goo Dolls "Iris"
• Journey "Faithfully"; "Don't Stop Believing"
• Sara McLachlan "Possession"; "Building a Mystery"
• Aerosmith "Cryin'"
• Linkin Park "One Step Closer"
• Def Leppard "Pour Some Sugar on Me"
• Reba McEntire "One Honest Heart"
• Bryan Adams "Somebody"
• No Doubt "Bathwater"; "Hella Good"; "Different People"
• Sheryl Crow "Run Baby Run"
• Richard Marx "Now and Forever"
• Destiny's Child "Bills, Bills, Bills"
• Green Day "Basket Case"

09.10.2007: this dog. he just sits and stares at the door, his front left paw raised slightly off the ground. "don't you dare" i told him, but i should have just kept my mouth shut. he looks round at me and starts to whine. it's only been twenty seconds and already it sounds like the dog can't breathe. sure it's fun looking after someone's dog, having it around the office brightening up everyone's day, but someone forgot to mention how i can't stand dogs. especially if they are going to circle my table whining, start licking my fingers or shit in the bin. it's just not going to happen.

give it a few days and i fall in love him with, for sure.

just you fucking try it.

and someone left my mug out. the only clean mug in the office. and now it's gone.

and what season is it even? it was over 30c yesterday. and just before that it was 8c. on friday i was cycling down through forest hill, between those huge houses with their perfect green lawns and shining cars. gardens manicured so that the pollen falls through the sunlit just so. with their perfect families, thanks to stacks of cash and drug-controlled children. all that dappled sun, it was like the start of a perfect faux summer.

i wonder if they pay kids to go up and play hockey in the street. for that real authentic feeling.

i spent most of friday night being angry at an absurd situation. or something like that. walking through the toronto streets drinking a bottle of malt and no fuckhead cop stopping me. we should drink in the streets more, take them back.

saturday i fixed my bike. sunday julie 'fixed' her hair.

lorien invited us over her place for thanksgiving, which was very nice of her. it's good to experience these strange cultural phenomenas properly, although i'm not so sure how 'proper' it was. either way dinner was well good, courtesy of her sister. as were the shit-log cookies, which i'm still munching through. the transformation of the kitchen into an opium den didn't quite happen.

monday was a holiday and i spent it in cafes, to be expected. did i actually do anything productive? i don't think so.

06.10.2007: so here's what we need to do. since we all download music, we can all empathise with jammie thomas. we need to show our support for her by sending her a few dollars each. it wouldn't require a large proportion of the people who download music to send her a little aid and pay off her fine in its entirety.

it's unfortunate that the record companies would recieve their money, but it's nothing to them anyway, and everything to thomas and her children.

and what about the conscientious musicians who disagree with what their record companies are doing in their name? there must be some artists out there who care more about their music than their money, well they can send her some cash too (ooh, and what about a free album?). i'm sure bono would be up for it. er..

i have no idea about the logistics of such a scheme (tax, charities, paypal, etc), but with a clever bit of campaigning we could show these companies what we think of their bullshit.


also, it's a big day in copenhagen. expect tear gas and beatings. mass arrests (update: over 437), etc. if you look like a police officer i'd recommend you stay indoors.

english translation can be found here, which saves us a lot of time.

05.10.2007: i've already written my thoughts on piracy (i quite like my comment about radiohead and selling music at the price people are willing to pay for it), but this morning's news takes it to a whole new level.

jammie thomas has been wronged. after refusing to pay an out of court settlement of $3000, she's been found guilty of sharing copyrighted music and ordered to pay $220,000. for twenty four songs. if you can be bothered to read the statement of case, there's the link.

she's a single mother of two children. how is such a disproportionate fine even justifiable? (i don't think any fine is justifiable, but that's a different issue). she'll be forced to file for bankruptcy and the asshole corporations will never receive their money anyway. they just ruined a family's life, and for what, a deterrent? do you hear that noise? it's the sound that millions of file sharers make whilst continuing in their 'illegal' activity and not giving a shit. all they're doing is making more enemies.

it's infuriating. what can you even do?

it's time to bomb the RIAA headquarters. it's time to fight back. against all the metallicas and the pricks who think that a single woman can do $222,000 of damage by sharing 24 songs online. don't take this shit lying down. fuck copyrights and fuck corporate music (sony, arista, interscope, umg, capitol records and warner bros). fuck the artists who have let this happen. fuck safenet and charter communications, and all other internet service providers who don't give a fuck about your privacy.

we demand justice for jammie thomas.

04.10.2007: whilst researching for the new season on radio emo.ware (that started today, you're going to love it) i got listening to the first slipknot album. and you know what? it's almost really good. if only the lyrics weren't so terrible it'd be a great album. or at least the first five tracks would (excluding 'wait and bleed', which i've always hated). anyway, despite slipknot being very heavy, they will definately not be featured. and if you haven't guessed what the new theme is, well.. nevermind. it's just a shame i've already featured cult of luna, envy and too much atari teenage riot. i will manage. i don't know about anyone else.

anyway..

unfortunately, and as cute as they are, uploading red photos along with some vaguely political message will not help the people of myanmar. the junta does not care what you think. you can paint yourself red and run naked through the streets if you like. you can set yourself on fire, they'd probably just find that funny. what they do care about is their cash flow - their trade relations. so if you're interested, george monbiot's (swoon) most recent article mentions a number of businesses who are still trading with burma's government. how about you post stupid photos about them to your flickr account instead.

which reminds me, i just lost my flickr pro account. should i care? after all the asshole censorship they've implemented in the recent months i really don't want to be giving them my money anymore.

03.10.2007: been using the mouse with my left hand all day. it makes everything a pain in the ass.

anyway. there were a number of things i wanted to comment on today but aren't going to due to time restrictions. these included eric mcdavid being found guilty (are you a student stuck for cash? become an fbi informant!), the de menezes trial (note how the statement is directed at police action causing unnecessary danger to the public, and not shooting an innocent man seven times in the face) and the most recent zapatista communique.

i also wanted to point out the absurdity of part 3 of the Regulation of Investigatory Powers Act that came into effect two days ago. the law makes it illegal for you not to hand over decryption keys to the police if their demand for decryption is "both necessary and proportionate" (now there's a wooly phrase). i'm not sure how that works, when the item in question is encrypted and completely unknowable, but nevermind.

mostly ignoring the privacy and human rights issues, you don't have to look at many potential cases before you see how stupid (yes, wrong and stupid) the law is. a two to five year prison sentence because you've genuinely forgotten a password? and presuming you'd recieve a conviction based on the acquired data for some kind of terrorist activity, well you'll only get five instead of twenty by not letting them at the evidence. also, it's not hard keeping your data in other countries, having a self-destruct mechanism encoded into it (say, based on access latency), using less destructive hidden volumes, or splitting your key amongst various people (i like this solution because even if all key holders are in custody they can claim to be giving the correct key whilst giving a fake one - with no way to prove otherwise no one is prosecutable). anyway, the comments behind that article are fascinating.

all this is irrelevant though, when i'm walking around the shop and just want to buy a pizza and some peanut butter icecream. either way i'm letting myself down. it's just not fair. and like grilly says, "if you're the type of idiot who thinks it's ok to eat meat then you'd have a good feed, yeah you've got it fucking made haven't you". i walked out of there with a proud cauliflower and a green pepper. let me be an arrogant vegan, it's all i've really got.

hmmm, looks like we're in libra territory again.

02.10.2007: i have become stale. like the contents of the 575g box of toasted O's that never gets finished. like the box itself that always gets repurchased before the old one is even thrown out.

i was more interesting when i was miserable and depressed all the time. when i was an asshole. back when i didn't know what i wanted, but i was young enough for it not to matter. that's what i honestly thought. i was twenty whatever and i thought "i'm young enough yet".

your biggest influences, how old were they when they did their best work?

if i write down the things that i enjoy, the things i should focus on, it's a fucking ridiculous list. how can i even admit this:

• photography
• writing
• fucking shit up
• comics

01.10.2007: i feel shite and i'm loathing. so be it.

the good parts of the weekend were good (this is my website and i'm allowed to use such crap sentences). we've had a guest from germany staying at ours and that's been fun. and easy. on friday morning i went out east to pick up a bike for her so she could join us on critical mass. then spent the rest of the afternoon doing my usual rounds - buying comics and then hanging out in kensington, eating doubles and drinking coffee. generally just wasting my time in the ways i enjoy best. why i'm telling you this i don't know, but at least i'm questioning it.

saturday started good, we had breakfast over on parliment and i had all kinds of interesting plans. then i had a disasterous time with my bike and wasted the whole day. i got home exhausted and upset, but just in time for dinner that syvlie (correct spelling pending) cooked for us, some kind of traditional german uber-glutton feast, mainly consisting of flour eggs and cheese. infact, isn't that all it consisted of? so much for being vegan. it was good grub though. and then without a nap or any planning we headed out to nuit blanche. no map, just a satchel of beer and gin.

nuit blanche could have been amazing, and maybe it was, but most of what we saw was vastly underwhelming (i heard that word spoken by at least four people during the night, odd). too many video installations and not enough clever use of space. not enough experience. also way too many people. the thing i wanted to see the most, the lower bay 'ghost station' (an old and now unused subway station), was ruled out instantly due to the ridiculously long and slow moving queue. yes it'd be cool, but not that cool. the newmindspace alien crash site was interesting, but ultimately a missed opportunity. it had so much potential. the best times were to be had in kensington, but most of that was what you'd normally find in kensington anyway, at least on a pedestrian sunday. except the scrabble was frantic, and bit too much for my gin fueled head. late night street lit scrabble though? brilliant. and i enjoyed the punch and judy, more like punch and stephen harper. the tree things. and also the art exchange project. i drew the sky for a woman called sara, then phoned her up (the woman running the stall lent me her phone, very kind) to give her my name and address so she could return the favour. and i'd completely forgotten about the recreated fallout shelter. the implementation was poor, but the painted messages people had written on the wall were brilliant. if only i'd taken photos it would have been ok that'd i'd forgotten them.

the best thing we saw was totally by accident. we were walking up to see the contents of someones house (arranged in the street for all to see, very strange), when we passed a church that was open. it was another dreaded video installation, only this one was amazing. it was just a short musical piece from croatia, with singing by some school kids, called 'magical world'. and actually you can listen to it here. that was our collectively highlight of the night.

so we missed about 70% of what was on show, but that's ok.

sunday i was more than wiped out from the stresses of the previous day and night. and even better, it was 'word on the street'. so i wandered over to queens park to check out the literature action. lots of stalls selling books i thought i might want (but how can you be sure?) and some good tents. well, there was the TCAF tent being run (currated?) by chris butcher, featuring jeff lemire (who you might not now, but who is awesome) and ryan north (who you probably do know). also other people, but i missed a lot, y'know (like chester brown). they had an interesting discussion about the internet though. i also got to chat with joey comeau (who was squatting by a tree, and whose name i can now pronounce) which was nice. it's hard to not seem like an ass when in these situations. when you've been reading someone's comic for the best part of (what?) three years and you think they write some of them best short paragraphs going. and they are like more talented versions of your best friends. and really i just want to tell him how intense his eyes are and how i want his tattoos. and sorry for being nerdy. and i've never actually read dinosaur comics. and this is at least mostly true. one day i will also have something fascinating to say.

we ended the weekend with a nice little mexican meal down parliment street (oooh, symmetry). we might have to go back there for dessert one day.

the rest of the weekend fades into obscurity.

toronto is repeating itself. i bet you anything it'll be halloween soon.

27.09.2007: funny story. check this out, see if it rings any bells. the city of toronto is trying to buy out an after-hours bar, the "legendary" matador, which has been open since 1964 and is drenched in character and local history (i hear leonard cohen even wrote a song about it, "closing time"). the city has offered $800,000 for it, and let it be known that if their offer is not accepted the land may be expropriated from the owner. and what do they want from the land so bad? they've identified it as a high-demand area for parking..

listening to the radio it's like ungdomshuset one year ago all over again, except the stakes aren't so high and everyone is in agreement about what a terrible idea it is.

and a fantastic quote:

"there is nothing in this world currently deserving of the name peace. rather, it is a question of whose violence frightens us most, and on whose side we will stand."

from 'how nonviolence protects the state', a book all you peace protesters need to read. especially if you're confused as to why we still went to war after the massive international protests on febuary 15th 2003, and why spain pulled it's troops out of iraq whilst other countries didn't. if you want a more current case study, you don't have to waste much time listening to the news to hear about the protests in myanmar (i'm still unsure if i should call it burma or myanmar). really, they're in a whole different pile of shit. but i highly recommend you read the book, please (here's a good review, and i'm linking them despite missing out on their contest prize - if you can count the $10 store credit "missing out").

"igitur qui desiderat pacem, praeparet bellum."

an actual funny story, we were talking with a friend one night and bought i the book out to demonstrate my point. she looks at it and says "see, this is what i'm talking about, nonviolence protects the state", then a pause, and "oh yeah, i forgot you guys don't like the state". ok, it was funny at the time.

26.09.2007: so you want to know how much julie likes tea? and what your choice of tea will be when you come around ours for a relaxing hot beverage? or a very refreshing drink? here's our apartment's tea list:

• chinese jasmine
• pheonix oolong
• chai masala
• licourice tea
• ginko biloba
• authentic japanese green tea
• genuine japanese green tea
• organic chocolate spice tea
• organic licourice spice tea
• chocolate rooibos
• organic rooibos
• harrods christmas tea
• osmanthus dancong oolong
• ceylon tea
• keemun red tea
• earl grey cream
• toasty almond
• white tea chai
• vanilla hazelnut tea

and also the missing branch photo, from way back:

that is all. oh, unless you want to see me when i'm in england (november) and i haven't spoken to you yet. either i'm waiting to solidify some crucial plans and i'm hoping you'll be able to fit into them, in which case i'll be in contact soon, or you need to email me. i would like that.

25.09.2007: it's 1am and the woman upstairs is trying to incite my violence. julie thinks she is practising the waltz. i think she is doing step exercises. either way, she is doing my head in. thump thump thump. thump thump thump. creak. thump thump thump. everything has it's purpose though, and hers is to get us out of bed and into the lounge so we smell the gas.

one of our stove pilot lights had gone out and gas was slowly filling up the apartment. this is only half true as there is a second pilot light still burning, not one foot away, keeping things in check. but at the time it was enough to cause worry. stupid me, i even hesitated in switching on the lights, when there's a naked flame burning right in front of me. when it's a hazy hour it's always wise to err on the side of caution. as demonstrated, you're not always thinking straight.

after relighting the pilot light (with ingenious use of a lighter), all that remained was to murder the bitch upstairs. the plan fell short, as in a rage i took a chair to the ceiling and bashed away until she shut the fuck up.

and all was quiet until half an hour later and some other bitch is standing outside our window chatting with an obscene intensity. the people she's with, they must be embarrassed at the gob their friend has on her. shrieking like that i'm surprised she has any friends at all.

then there's the screaming hag, but i'll cut her some slack. she obviously has problems i can't even comprehend.

24.09.2007: trying to free our three remaining beer bottles from a slab of ice pulled from the fridge, in the shower trying not to let the bottles smash as they fall, and julie is commenting on how weird our life is. i'm not sure what she's referring too, but fortunately it has nothing to do with harrison ford.

here is a weird story though, it happened just now down on the street when i was waiting to cross. this woman she asks me if know where she could get some weed around here. the first time she asks i don't hear her properly, so the second time she's very careful how she pronounces the word 'weeeeeed'. "i thought you looked the type" she said, chuckling. i apologised and explained i live downtown and don't know the area. "i have to go downtown anyway, but all you can get down there is crack". yeah, that sounds about right.

we're halfway across the road when she shows me her bruises. "the police beat me up". she wanted to buy a kitten for her kid who she'd been visiting in hospital. and the police beat her up. she pulls a photo of her daughter out of her bag, it's carefully protected in a plastic bag and she nearly drops it, so i don't get a good look at it. "they called security and those goons threw me out so i couldn't get witnesses". she showed me a second bruise on her other arm, just above the sleeve of her dress. "those bastards".

she's not the type of crazy you meet around where we live, she's not a crazy at all. i wanted to go for coffee with her so she could tell me her story properly, in all it's fascinating and ugly details. but instead she goes into the bank and i'm left with a confused half-story and too many questions.

23.09.2007: would someone like to explain to me the colour of my piss? how it's neon snot green one minute and violently lemon yellow the next. could someone tell me what i consumed that makes my urine glow in the dark?

anyway, enough of the disgusting things you don't want to hear about. and on with things you just don't want to hear about.

starting with william gibson at the united church on bloor, which was interesting but not crucial. i now have a strong urge to read his new book (it worked!), but i still won't buy it. there was a lot of talk about the internet, google and ebay, which i'm obviously interested in, but i suspect it quite bored julie. and it didn't help that the venue sucked. it's not that i indiscriminately dislike churches, but the acoustics were terrible. also pews suck - i am not impressed by corporal punishment.

since we were in a nice area we decided to go for beers. i made the unpopular choice of the greenroom. i like it because it's a nice backstreet cool hangout, but like the church it also has awful acoustics. the upstairs had been invaded by screaming and shouting asians in the middle of a well good time, and so hearing each other verged towards the impossible. we finished up our pitcher and moved on to the future cafe (you didn't see that coming) where julie ate cake and i had none. i sat there and watched in disgust at her evil vegetarian ways. i've not been a hundred percent vegan myself, but i haven't touched any crap food, which is half of the reason for our venture (yes, 'venture' is the wrong word).

being at that end of town also gave me the oppurtunity to finish off my attack on the beauty boutique that's currently being renovated, although i shouldn't have bothered since it's ended up looking far from intelligent. nevermind

the rest of the weekend was dominated by car-free day on saturday, so naturally it's written up on my cycling blog instead of here. also don't miss the exciting bells-on-bloor ride. go go bike action.

20.09.2007: "don't let someone speak for you", and if you don't vote that's what you're doing. at least according to the current voting campaign doing the rounds in the local washrooms and bus shelters. only it makes zero sense. that's why you vote. if you don't want someone speaking for you why would you elect them to do so? even if you think your president or prime minister represents you, they're still speaking for you. and that's why democracy is bullshit.

and if your in the majority, the people who don't think they're represented by a gang of overpaid pricks in suits who like bombing civillians and spreading their filth across the world, doesn't that slogan put you off voting? doesn't it make you want to take out your permanent marker pen, cross out "vote" and write some angry or witty anti-government slogan in it's place? something like "abolish hierarchical rule", "collapse your government", "cast your vote with a brick", "act out your desires", "bullets not ballots", "molotovs speak louder than words", "smash the state".

it doesn't? what the fuck is wrong with you?

the government need a campaign to get people out voting because people know it makes no difference who the fuck they vote for. they're disillusioned by the lame pretense of democracy and they only don't do anything about it because they don't understand the alternatives (no, not a military dictatorship) or they're scared of it. that or they don't care, in which case fuck them anyway. they'll only ever get what they deserve.

and don't get all whiney on me and tell me i should acknowledge how hard people have fought to get the right to vote, and i'm an asshole for saying it's worthless. those people weren't fighting to vote - they we're fighting for recognition and they were fighting for their fucking freedom. one step at a time.

too many angry anti-political posts in one week? maybe i need a hobby.

20.09.2007: doing my stretches infront of the washroom mirror, my face dripping and it's rough from no sleep, the me in the mirror is looking back like he's about to headbutt me. what i asked for was a decaf, and i didn't even want a coffee, but somewhere the request got lost. like it didn't really matter. like some underpaid and rightly disloyal employee screwed me over. someone forgot. got mixed up. and now, 18 hours later, i'm about to nut myself.

what else didn't help, i'd left my wallet at home. from half five to half eight i was homeless and hungry. i ate popcorn and a plain bagel for dinner. all i'd eaten all day, bagels and 'decaf' coffee. someone lent me a pen and i ruined a perfectly reasonable crossword. "the direction super mario bros scrolls in" probably the only clue i got right.

4:30am is no one's idea of a good time. my mind is a silk sheet of a tranquil ocean in a cheap stage production. it's smooth and featureless but it's never still enough to settle. you come up with something better at 5am, when you can't even tell the difference between metaphor and simile. when you debate about having a wank because it might help you fall asleep. when you can feel the electric charge every sixty seconds when the alarm clock LED flicks to a new digit, a new and exciting minute that lasts forever. it's about as close as you can get to what death feels like.

don't worry, there is joy buried deep inside me. i have secret plans. they will explode in glorious technicolour. and i will sleep as long as i like.

19.09.2007: the most obscence news you've ever heard. faderhuset, the fucks who bought and destroyed ungdomshuset, have decided they don't want jagtvej 69 anymore and are looking to sell it for 15 million danish kroner (around three million dollars).

faderhuset originally purchased the house for 2.6 million kroner, whilst the ungdomshuset fund offered up to 15 million to buy it back and were coldly turned down. faderhuset then ordered the eviction and demolition of the building, which took place in the first week of march this year, the aftermath of which cost the city 2.6 million kroner in clean up costs and 40 million kroner in police wages (plus 20 million for food/lodging and 10 million in equipment costs). local shops lost 14 million kroner in business (most of which aren't actually 'local' in any reasonable sense of the word). however, sales of molotovs and bricks were well up, and window glazers and car mechanics also did very well out of the deal. unfortunately, liberty and justice took a nose dive and neither have recovered since. quite a few police also took nose dives, but not enough of them.

ruth evensen, the evil queen of the cult of faderhuset, was very open about wanting to rid the city of the evil satanic anarchist punks, but did she really think the land would be useful afterwards? or was it also driven by money - the opportunity to buy cheap real estate, wage a short but ugly moral war, then sell off the now cleansed land at a fat profit? but ground 69 is now useless, no one will be able to use the land without constant police protection. it has become cursed.

so in an open letter to ruth evensen i am offering 69kr for the purchase of jagtvej 69, which is about all it is worth since she personally desecrated the once beautiful landmark that was ungdomshuset. she'll be lucky to get anything more.

not that she probably reads any of the mail she receives. i imagine she has it all destroyed in controlled explosions, just incase someone decides to mail her what she rightly deserves.

let them burn. and go crispy.

18.09.2007: check out the myanmar fuel protest timeline. the way in which it developes is fascinating. i'd comment further but i don't really know anything about it. except, who shoots at monks anyway?

grilly: they might be ninja monks. you know, like kung fu types
laurence: with guns
grilly: wait what about zombie monks
laurence: oh yeah. that'd make sense. or cyborgs. maybe they're related to the new chinese internet censorship police
grilly: *om*

joking aside, i just hope they don't have to resort to dousing each other in petrol and setting fire to themselves. not that they could afford it now, since the government doubled the fuel prices. no wait, that was in too bad taste..

anyway, i have better things to be doing. like eating our dumpster dived food.

17.09.2007: for the first time this year i got excited about autumn. this morning you can feel it starting proper. when autumn isn't just the cold rainy days at the end of summer, but its own season with its own associated memories and feelings. i forget every year that autumn is the most magical of the seasons. and then it starts snowing.

but it's not snowing yet. on sunday we went over to the harbord village fair to hang out with the locals. they had a stage set up in the little park for live bands and were selling roast corn (and less impressively 'pizza pizza' pizza) and everything. we failed to win anything on the raffle (i was crossing my fingers for the city books vouchers, dang) but did get carrot muffins for 10c each. really small ones that didn't want to come out of their casings. the insides were still good.

the zen buddhist temple was having a rummage sale and i picked up some bargains - a drawn and quarterly book and some other random comic called 'mirrors'. the guy infront of me in the queue had a pile of comics a foot high and he had the audacity to ask if he could get a discount for buying so many. he made off with them for twenty bucks. i almost chipped in and said i'd pay twenty five for half of what he had, but that's not exactly in spirit. he'd just picked up anything that looked vaguely interesting and taken the lot, leaving nothing for anyone else. he had some decent comics too, from what i saw, although i already owned those anyway.

it was also baldwin village pedestrian sunday, which means more street scrabble. we played against the local kids and i totally destroyed them with an evil 164 points. yes it was mean, but i was in it to win. the free popcorn was perfect. but i almost had an arguement with a kid from greenpeace who was talking rubbish about nuclear power. i just don't like it when they start talking their generic spiel when you ask them a complicated question. even if it was a terribly worded question (i'll get him next time!)

and i've started to recieve spam through my comments form already. that was quick. and it's rubbish spam too. i don't even get any viagra..

16.09.2007: mostly all we've been doing is eating, starting at the vegetarian food fair last sunday and ending at the future cafe yesterday. all that gluttony has given me the urge to be vegan. the real reason may only be so that i can add another group of people (vegetarians) to the list of those i hold in contempt. maybe that's a little too strong. maybe i'm only joking. but either way it's just about time i got a little more hardcore. stupid vegetarians supporting the dairy industry, they think they're so good..

anyway, i can reconstruct the week using the tried and tested (but unpatented, because patents are wrong) 'grilly method', which links everything based around meals. last week is the perfect application of grilly's method. and i'll also try and keep it loose on the useless details.

the vegetarian food fair was huge, in all its foody glory. but what's with all the religious and spirituality crap? i have no idea. we ate big foods, bought lots of tea and talked to some of the animal rights people. it was also 'walk for cancer' day (no that wasn't the real title) so i asked them if they we against cancer research too. they gave me a disappointing response, a kind of lame "well kind of but y'know yeah" followed up by a defensive explanation of why medical research on animals is inadequate. what are they afraid of? they think it's wrong so why can't they stick to their guns? sure it's a complicated issue, but if you can't rely on the animal rights activists to not wimp out who can you rely on? apparently they can't say things like that, i told them maybe they should.

after the food fair we went up to markham for pedestrian sunday. for playing street scrabble and eating nachos to the background barrage of the regular drum group, this week with an added awesome vocalist. someone had written "milkill rulez" on the blackboard in the toilet. and someone had put up a sign in the street regarding a rumour that honest eds has been sold and is to be condo'd. it's only a rumour but it's still terrifying.

monday was for introducing the city, yonge down to queen, along to spadina and up to kensington, to meet julie for an urban herbivore sandwich and drinks. also for buying cheese and veg for the jambalaya i was to be cooking in the evening, after which we played two round of eve's quest. looking back on it the day seemed simple, but we walked way too far and saw a lot of the city.

tuesday morning we were up early for breakfast at flo's diner. then after a brief tour of yorkville and a couple of hours in the ROM (which is only half full, but it still wont be worth the entrance fee when it's completed) we walked along bloor and had a perogie lunch at the future cafe where julie joined us. we went back to kensington but they didn't have the right size shoe at leftfeet, then all the way down to mountain equipment, past the fur shops (i again wimped out at shouting at them). what we should have done next was take the TTC home, but nevermind. we ate at the ethiopian house, and everyone agreed that it was really something quite special. whilst we ate it stormed outside, lightning painting the sky in angry neon pink slashes.

wednesday is always tricky. we visited the botanical garden and then went to the travel information place to work out what we could do the next day. niagra looked the most promising, but we'd all been before. everywhere else was just too much effort since all the public transport had been discontinued. it was about this time i realised i'd been drinking too many coffees (decaf or otherwise). we ate at the commonsal, the perfect vegetarian buffet. you pay by weight so there's an incentive to not eat yourself sick. i still failed, blaming the dessert buffet. by then the cloud forest was closed so we shoe shopped instead and i bought a new jacket from the organic/fairtrade place at the black market below pages. we went into the silversnail and i finally worked out why i don't like it (a potential post for another time). we had a spare half hour so drank quick beers in the village idiot pub before meeting john, margaret, johnny and laura (in order of original appearance) at the vegetarian haven on baldwin. all thoroughly pleasent. we finished the night at the artful dodger for a pitcher of creemore, which the waiter forgot about and then tried to pay for himself. obviously we'd have none of that.

thursday we should have left the city but it was too complicated. instead we walked down through cabbage town and caught the streetcar to little india (the indian bazaar, whatever) to have a look around, but mostly eat lunch at the udupi palace. my parents confirmed that it's very authentic southern indian, both the ambience and cooking. we also bought some indian sweets and too many lentils (which i then had to carry around all day) from a local shop. then back into town for more shoe shopping and a shot of proper wheatgrass. after wandering through too many tommy hilfiger shirts it was time to venture up the cn tower. it kind of can't be avoided if you're a tourist, and it turns out the first time my parents went up it was a month (or less) after it originally opened to the public in 1976. evidently the view has changed a lot since then. some of the queues were frustratingly long, but we made it down and to the biryani house (on wellesley) just in time. two indians, but very different indians, in one day. how many points do you get for that? after dinner we invited laura over to ours and played some more eve's quest. she won.

friday we all went to the islands and it was the best weather yet. we ate at the terrible carousel cafe, with its overpriced chemical tasting vege hotdogs and huge plates of salty chips. it's a shame because the other cafe/restaurant looks so nice. we rented a quadricycle and cycled the length of the island. it took about two hours. me and julie were determined to swim so had a quick dip in the choppy waters. it was the best swim i've had for a while, despite it being so brief. the sky in the west glowed a delicate orange and storm clouds were coming in over from the north. i couldn't help but throw myself into the waves, one last dip at the very end of summer. cold and rough. dark greens and greys. we made it off the islands and into a coffee shop before the storm came in thick and fast. rain drops the size of your fist. we stood in the damp waiting for a taxi and after ten minutes one finally came. it took us to the top of kensington and we ran to la palette for our final posh dinner. it's definately one of my favourite restaurants, and not just because the host is so friendly. their vege food is superb, which is incredible for a french restuarant. they're very accomodating. they were fully booked though, so after dessert we couldn't stick around. we had drinks in ronnie's and the embassy, and i'm left wondering why we haven't been out drinking in kensington more. they're both great bars and it took us a year to visit them. at least now we know.

saturday was confused by some ridiculous airline behaviour. first we heard the flight was cancelled until the next day, then it was denied, then it was admitted, then it was back on, and all kinds of crap inbetween. fuck it, we went to goodwill and then the post office to pick up my books (mcsweeney's six and eight). for lunch we ate cheapo style at the saigon palace, to show my parents that toronto is actually cheap. in kensington julie's shoes still hadn't arrived, so we walked up through harbord village (checking out all the interesting trees) and went to the future cafe for the obligatory cake. and my last cake. no more.

and that was about that.

09.09.2007: i've spent all morning fantasizing about what i'd have done if i'd been with julie when she found the pro-life table at the society fair at uni. plan A would be to approach them and apologies for the inconveniance but we've recieved a lot of complaints and we have to ask them to leave. i could see that not working, so plan B is signing their petition/forms with aggresive and rude words and then stealing their pens. the problem there is they'd probably have pens in backup. so plan C was to skip the pleasantries and just tip their table over. also that would be the most satisfying. i'd like to think i have the guts for it next time we see them.

so to make this absolutely clear. if you think abortion is wrong, you're wrong. if you believe in creationism, you're wrong. if you think any corporation cares about anything but money, you're wrong if you think climate change is a scam, you're wrong. if you support the troops, you're wrong. if you like your government, you're wrong. if you think they give a fuck about you, you're wrong.

and if you disagree, you're wrong.

08.09.2007: whatever i say, i do love this city. in the loosest sense of the word. not how i used to love birmingham or brighton. but how i might love a dying animal that keeps me entertained for an evening. as sick and cold as that sounds.

wandering across the city in a haze of evening colours. the sky in pink and purple bruises, bursting through the gaps between the cold concrete towers. they're more vulnerable than dominating, brittle and fragile. with their shopfronts and billboards projecting multi-coloured disorder, knowing they have to violently fight for their own survival. swimming reds and whites, subtle hues pasted across every facade. splashed across everyones face.

there's a warmth in the air and the threat of a storm. we're dancing on the edge. against the flow but remaining polite.

so there's a creamy potato and rosemary pizza. and relaxing in an expensive coffee shop, asking how much each tasty-looking item costs and always being dissappointed. it'd be a crime to eat one of those toffee apples anyway. not when i can get a shot of spirulina and a shot of wheatgrass for under two bucks. and watching the woman's confused face because no one has ever ordered that before. i told her i knew it wouldn't taste good, that's not exactly the point.

and hiding in the dark corner of hair of the dog's patio garden, the city looming over and through the wooden lattice fence, and i was going to treat myself to a cocktail. except none of them take my fancy. not with names like 'my little pony'. so nevermind.

07.09.2007: we're in the last brutal days of the dying summer. you best spend them wisely, spread across pub gardens and patios. drenching in the evening heat. watching the stars twinkle and swirl in the thick syrupy air.

the mistake i made was the lemonade float (yes, with a dollop of ice cream). i was enjoying toby's garden patio, walled in and surrounded by concrete, cosier than you'd think. and then later outside the artful dodger, where we always seem to end up with our pitcher or two of creemore. it was a good evening despite the inevitable stomach pains from the float.

and finally a reasonable article on foot and mouth to read while i piss:

The papers scream about a "deadly virus" on the loose, but it isn't even that. Foot and mouth rarely kills animals and only one human in Britain has ever contracted the disease. It is essentially an economic sickness, because it affects animals' weight and milk yield and, as the Daily Telegraph put it, a cow's value is "permanently reduced".

although i feel bad for taking the page from the washroom, especially since it's available online. the next time i went into the washroom in a guy was complaining there was nothing to read. whoops. sorry.

oh look, you can comment now.

and my parents are visiting next week, starting tomorrow. look sharp.

06.09.2007: i thought i'd cover some toronto issues today. and also make a quick mention of the action in copenhagen (at the bottom if you're interested).

the first issue is the tragic demise of the south east corner of yonge and bloor. the news that the area was to be renovated was released months ago, in full horrific detail - they're replacing the (something like) twenty businesses (mostly independant cafes and convenience stores) with a 79 storey condo/hotel/retail complex. because that's what we really need in this city. it's gentrification in full force and the eviction notices have just been received. the corner is to be demolished in december.

roy's square may not be the nicest corner of the city, but it's infinitely better than what it'll be replaced with - three floors of the same ubiquitous stores that have already invaded the rest of the city. more expensive rubbish for the spoilt rich people, whilst everyone else is kicked out of their own neighbourhood. it's only the assholes with capital that will benefit from this venture.

and what really annoys me is the comment by veronika belovich (the director of sales and marketing for bazis, the corporation behind the development), "we're trying to make the city better. this is a junky corner and we want to make it a fabulous area". could you shit any harder in the faces of the people you're fucking over? (if you'll please excuse the nasty language). fabulous for who exactly? your financial advisor?

it makes me sick. and unfortunately it seems a lot of people are for the developement. but why? i have no idea. there's a good article here, including a couple of interviews with local store owners. it looks like you've got two months to get over there and enjoy the spot before it's gone forever.


and then there's john tory, a progressive (you support same-sex marriage, pat yourself on the back) conservative who is currently running for the ontario general election. i've had a growing dislike for him ever since his radio campaign started, but i'm not sure exactly why. is it the "here here"s that come from the other room when he's on, or his slogan "i say leadership matters"? it can't just be because of his name can it?

well yesterday he came out and said christian schools should be allowed to teach creationism and still receive public funding. i can see how that's a complicated issue, but no. what he actually said was "they teach evolution in the ontario curriculum, but they also could teach the fact to the children that there are other theories that people have out there that are part of some christian beliefs". it's the wedge. today it turns out he's gone back on what he said, saying that he meant only in religious studies should they teach about creationism, not in science. which makes me wonder, what exactly was his point then?

no matter how reasonable you can make it sound (publicly funded schools should be allowed to teach value pluralism), there should be no intelligent design in any science class.


back in wonderful copenhagen there's been all kinds of the best kind of chaos. recounting recent events would be tiresome, so instead i'll tell you about the demo they're having today. or rather, the 69 demos they're having today, starting from 69 different no.69's all over the city and converging on blaagaardsplads and radhuspladsen. what's too funny is that the american embassy has sent out letters (maybe emails?) to all registered americans in copenhagen warning them about the demo. part of it reads "even demonstrations intended to be peaceful can turn confrontational and possibly escalate into violence. american citizens are therefore urged to avoid the areas of demonstrations if possible, and to exercise caution if within the vicinity of any demonstrations". it's good to know the americans understand how the danish police work.

05.09.2007: these days i get by on minor rebellion and tiny acts of dissent.

like vandalising the renovation facade of (what i think is) the channel store on bloor. again. well if they will write something as obnoxious as "the beauty authority" across their storefront they should expect resistance. especially if they write it using letters you can rearrange to read "the bad authority". in reality it looked pretty bad, and it still acknowledges them as some sort of authority. that's where the black marker pen comes in, so you can scrawl "fuck your" above it. someone else can do that, i stopped carrying my marker around at the start of summer (lack of pockets).

and stealing cheese. as i walk down the corridor, the heavy weight of cheese knocking against my leg is poe's beating heart. technically this is not stealing.

swapping around car license plates in the dead of night. downloading porn at work. sneaking fish into the air conditioning vents of various embassies. smiling at cops. using the ladies instead of the gents. taking an extra ten minute lunch break. stealing candy from babies (which irresponsible fuck gave their kids candy anyway?)

and liberating the garbaged bread from bakeries and eating leftover cake. if only rummaging around in dumpsters counted as rebellion.

also see: using the library, cycling to work, eating properly, not watching tv..

04.09.2007: another long weekend that went well too quickly. but doesn't saturday seem like an age away?

julie is back from her travels. you should email her and ask her lots of complicated questions about trees and logging and the forestry industry. she would love that.

so we were just hanging out, deciding to go buy some baby clothes in town and bumped into some of her travelling companions. they were heading to the same shop (the mountain equipment co-op) but couldn't find it. so we showed them where it was and i bought a stupidly loud horn for my bike, which i'm too scared to use (so far), and then went for tea - or whatever that white slushy thing i drank was. the weather has been glorious and after no sleep i wanted something cold and sugary. and with vanilla.

anyway, we didn't really know what to do because it was too late to do anything properly before we were supposed to meet people for dinner. i'm making this sound way over complicated. or rather the details are unimportant. and i'm bored even trying to write about it. i don't know why i am. anyway, four of us went for a drive (don't ask) and then drinks at la palette followed by huge food at the saigon palace. their curry soup sauce is incredible, it's just a shame they only have it with one vegetarian option. their shake selection makes up for it. only by that time we'd lost one person but managed to meet up with another two. so there were five us, and we went up for drinks at the future cafe because all the bars around where we were are skanky. something like that.

shit, sorry for being so damn boring.

anyway, it was cool hanging out with different people though, that julie had been with all day every day for the last three weeks.

on sunday we went to see the greenpeace ship 'arctic sunrise' that was spending the weekend docked down at the harbour front. it was interesting and made me want to volunteer, but really what use could i be on a ship? having said that, maybe i could help with photography and filming. plus cooking. general deckhand? the funniest thing about the ship (apart from the 'i brake for whales' sticker) is that before they bought it they were actually campaigning against it (it was a whaler). but that was good, although it was quite disappointing to see greenpeace using american apparel. we gave them what for.

we played some frisbee and went for crepe. started seriously discussing what we're going to do come january and have plenty of ideas but nothing (if you'll excuse the language) actionable. julie wants us to move up to haliburton for a few months, whilst i quite fancy going to work at ski chalet in the alps (although i'm in doubt whether that's an actual option). and then what? copenhagen for a few months before moving to berlin? that's all good for me but what about julie, who should really be getting a forestry related job. hey people, email me with a suggestion. wtf should we do?

we forgot to go dumpster diving.

and then it was labour day and everything was shut. i cycled around downtown looking for the parade but couldn't find it. i probably missed it by a couple of hours. sat reading outside the local cafe instead, then we went over to hang out with maria and larry. they treated us to a movie and dinner, which was very nice of them. and julie got a tommy hilfiger shirt that someone had thrown out, hurray etc.

now i'll stop boring you until i have something of interest to say.

01.09.2007: where am i at? saturday morning. completely fucking vacant. my stomach feels hollow, all the way up into my chest. wherever my sleep went, my innards went with it. it was one of those nights. a head full of fuzz. etc. now just swimming along on autopilot. waiting hours in the queue at goodwill.

i'd been hanging out with sedric and sophie, playing jungle speed and discussing property rights (don't ask). eating their curry with onion paratha, which i never realised you could get from no frills. and before that it was critical mass.

the rest of my friday had been typical. i'd started at the library, borrowing an obscene amount of books (six, including 'exit wounds'). i then cycled over to kensington for my usual, except louie had no croissants. i bought me a new wallet for $9 and made up the difference in the beguiling. then back to the market to sit in the moonbeam cafe garden listening to the dub floating over from the street. sister nancy. reading about the free wales army.

that was about it, but it was all well good.

on thursday i'd drank too many beers. i'd been caught cycling home by the guys, who'd retired to the pub halfway through a meeting, and they dragged me down with them. to get away i had to drink three pints of guiness and eat a whole bowl of cheesey chips. and probably the best cheesey chips you'll ever enjoy. at first i was disappointed because there was hardly any cheese, but then i realised the cheese was all mixed up with the fries, all the way down. it was like cheesey chip heaven. this also led to the dodger album release party at lee's palace. i managed to get guestlisted as someone's plus one and waltzed in no problem, although i did miss sky sweetnum. i'm not sure if that's a shame or not. dodger were a lot of fun, although the highlight was probably me getting to play around with a canon 1d (on loan for the day at an obscene cost of $200) for five minutes. nasty piece of technology. for a while i was planning on hanging around upstairs at the dance cave, but there weren't enough people there for me to get away with hanging out on my own. it was just a bit sad, so i left and went dumpster diving instead.

31.08.2007: august 31st, anniversary of the first recorded automobile fatality - a woman by the name of mary ward killed today in 1869.

30.08.2007: the thunder started at 3am, giving me almost an hours sleep between that racket and the previous one from upstairs. what kind of person plays the same hiphop track on repeat until 2am anyway? but the thunder i can deal with. and the rain keeps the squirrels at bay, calms them down, stops them throwing themselves against the gauze covering my open window.

celery is my new favourite smell. maybe it was always my favourite, i don't know. what's yours?

do you think my note on our mailbox is a bit too passive aggresive? it reads "do we need a new mailbox or a new mailman?". i'm fed up of arriving home to find the top row of boxes (for apartments one through four) left hanging open unlocked, so that anyone can come off the street and take our uncollected mail. it's unacceptable.

so shall i process photos or read my anarchist magazine? with a beer i figure i can do both:

looks like one got lost. nevermind.


oh, and here's a fun one, meet the new chinese internet police:

this cute pair will walk across your screen and remind you to stay away from illegal internet content. they will smile and salute and ride in their cute little cars right across your screen every half hour. they're currently only on china's top portals (including sohu) but will soon be on every site registered with beijing servers (is that a company or a geolocation?)

you are being watched

so what is this? a desperate move begging people to stop their illegal browsing or a serious warning that they're under constant surveillance? both? i don't know what to think about it, i'm too horrified. you can read an article about it here.