emo.ware

google webmaster country data

emoware@gmail.com

google webmaster central enables you to see the top searches that your website appears in. this can be useful because these searches can obviously be very different to the ones that drive your traffic (i.e. if your click rate is very low for them). anyway, here's the interesting thing, you can break it down by country. so here is how my website appears in various google results around the world:

USA - emo girls, cat man, girls without clothing
UK - malarone, malarone tablets, gash
Denmark - cult shaker, ungdomshuset, anarki
Indonesia - graffiti emo, grafity emo, emo girl style
India - a boy removing girls clothing, girls on beach without clothes, hot girls wallpapers without any clothes
Australia - emo photography, gash, rainbow patterns
Canada - cn tower, emo girls, bear cubs
Germany - emo girls, dumpster diving, hitler emo
Mexico - emo girl fashion, punks, ya basta
Netherlands - graffiti, designer toys, doxycycline dosage
France - art toys, emo girl fashion, emo clothes
Malaysia - emo shoes, punk nazi, norway

what does it mean? well there's a lot of boring stuff i could write about the subtlies of ranking for different terms, my ranking power in the UK, etc. but i think most of it comes down to the difference between what the people in a country are searching for and what local websites are optimising for. if people in denmark are searching for 'cult shaker' but no one is optimising for it, stupid websites like mine are going to show up. but it's strange, because i clearly don't rank for some of the terms it claims i do (average number one position in the last month for "rape ass", i don't think so).

waiting for sleep to come

emoware@gmail.com

so i'm just waiting. i'm waiting to go to france. waiting for my rubik's cubes to arrive, waiting for books at the library. i'm waiting to hear back about this job that i (actually) really want. waiting to get better at danish. waiting for winter, waiting to get old.

my blog just turned nine years old. for a minute i freaked out because i thought it was ten, as if that makes a difference. but nine years of my garbage. it's almost 4mb of ascii (i stopped counting words a long time ago).

and i've actually had a website since i was 14. so i've now had a website longer than i haven't. there's something so very wrong about that sentence. i don't know.

i just wish i could sleep. why am i up writing this at 5am anyway?

waiting for morning..

this is so boring right now

emoware@gmail.com

the trick is not to fall asleep when there's a mosquito in the room. to not try and pretend that it doesn't exist. or that it will go away. the trick is to hunt that pinpoint piece of shit down and smear it over every surface. spread it into nothingness. it's almost a shame they're not bigger so you can really grind them into the dust. feel the life leave them as you squeeze and pummel. see the blood squirt, gushing from their spiracles, compound eyes fragmenting and popping.

anyway. can't blame me not being able to sleep completely on the flies.

our sunday gig went really well. there's a clear difference between a gig at 2am and one at 2pm. funny that. but it was the success we needed. and the most i've ever sweated on stage. also the sweetest guitar sound i've ever had. when we left the venue it was still daylight. as if it was morning or something.

eating all the pizza, falafel and fries we could. and playing one card passing on the train, which must have a better name. either that or it's just a stupid game someone made up in school, which isn't so unlikely given how dumb it is. new variation, you don't see your own card, you stick it on your head for everyone else to see. real dumb.

i just clicked on one of kellog's adwords and it went to a 502. someone should tell them.

this is so boring right now.

has anyone got boltcutters or a angle grinder i could borrow? um, no reason.

oh yeah, also we were around our neighbours for dinner monday night. that was very nice. good wine, lasagna. all very grown up. uninteresting for you, but i wanted to make a note, y'know.

another hateful bitch

emoware@gmail.com

i thought that by the time i was say 25 years old, i'd be done with worrying about exams and thesis deadlines. having not done your homework. but still i'm dreaming about it all the time. at an almost worrying regularitly.

also i'm missing my old friends. i dream about them a lot too. i dream about me and corey hanging out in rugby like we're 13 again.

and then there's the case of the hateful bitch from across the way (unfortunately not a dream). this bitch who decided to accuse me of asking her to use a different table in the courtyard, because apparently i've presumed that table belongs to us. it would have been ok, only she did it infront of everyone at the general meeting when i wasn't there (also the story is not true). then she went on to complain that the plants aren't being watered enough. someone had to explain that it's done on a voluntary basis, and it's only actually julie that does it. because all of you are so fucking useless. anyway, we confronted her about this the day after and she was completely unreasonable. she went on the offensive, and you can tell when someone is lacking in maturity when they claim that you need to grow up. i tried to explain to her how disappointed i was with her behaviour, but she said she wasn't going to have the discussion in english. this whole time she was walking backwards away from us. why are these people so full of hate?

and this is something i recently realised about denmark, whilst writing my fifth "klag" (letter of complaint) for class, the danish people love to complain about everything whilst doing nothing themselves to actually solve the problems. as if complaining makes themselves look better, distracts from the fact that they're fucking useless. that they've been resting too long on what might once have been a decent welfare state. expecting everyone else to run around and fix things for you. it's pathetic.

so the plan is to make me a nice bronze plague. "laurence's table". screw it on tight. maybe engrave something in some letters like "if you wish to use the table please contact..". that's exactly kind of humour we need in our courtyard.

a death in the family

emoware@gmail.com

my ipod is officially dead. it's been dead a few months now, the screen displaying an image of an ipod with crosses for eyes. it's almost cute. you can hear the harddrive trying to spin up. fail. but it lasted over six years so i won't complain (why do we so readily except things not lasting anymore?). needless to say i wont be replacing it. it's still pretty though.

any ideas of things to do with dead ipods?

or i was going to write about our first chat roulette experience. but really, what is that point? nexted, masturbating, nexted, topless guy, nexted, masturbating, nexted, etc. the longest chat was with this guy who kept pointing a gun at his head. and no matter how hard i begged him he wouldn't pull the trigger.

so i went back to the gym. i ran. and we had the first drunken butterfly practice in about two months. we had fun. it was as if we'd never left. and speaking of which there's also a new drunken butterfly comic. nice link, see what i did there? also i'm very happy with the shading. and tracing. nevermind. thank you batman and superman.