09.04.06: we're having a lot of fun here. but more on that another day. my website has finally qualified for attention from google. attention in the shape of an email sitting in my inbox. one of those emails that's points you towards google's quality guidelines and tells you you've been a naughty boy.

i had content hidden in a div that had been moved past the left of the screen. external style sheets and all that. it's not like i tried anything clever to hide the fact i was doing it (i can be as crude as i want on my own site). removing the hidden text isn't a problem, it's all bullshit and was soley to improve my adsense context, something i should be able to do more effectively with google_ad_section_start(weight=ignore), but it doesn't actually work. if you're interested the terrible content i had is as follows. it's quite embaressing. you'd think i might do something a little more intelligent wouldn't you?

emo clothing in your holy water emo style. (this was never supposed to be a blog or adverts for emo clothing). listen to emo music. like i said, emo girl, emomilk, whatever. rock'n'roll emo clothes fashion style. this is laurence's blog or something. no emo clothes or emo t-shirt. we have emo t-shirts and emo shoes. its not emo emo music, but whatever. pictures and emo photos and already too much emo clothing crap. emo clothes but not emo, okay? punk.

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you can find other malarone information there. and elsewhere for emo clothing, emo t-shirts and indie stuff. all your girl emo t-shirt. emo.ware.org indie clothes too.

now don't get me wrong, i like a couple of emo bands but don't look emo
emo photo
i don't have emo t-shirts but my use of the word emo (in 'emo ware') has nothing to do with emo bands, emo music, emo fashion, emo pictures or whatever. it's a stupid historical thing before emo apparel or emo t-shirt even existed. all you emo girls

were a twinkle in your mothers eye. emo milk had nothing to do with emotional lactose. then i started liking a couple of emo bands, y'know.. like far or whatever. jonah kind of pissed me off but nevermind. he doesn't even wear emo sneakers or trainers or whatever. emo glasses are fun, everyone loves emo t-shirts. and emo clothes arn't nerdy. emo clothing store. nor are stupid emo pins or badges trainers. it's not like i care though, honestly. i just wish call this contextual advertising?! indie clothing. stupid indie clothes.

incredible isn't it? i should have known better. ha. but like they say, if it ain't broked don't fix it. or something like that anyway. but you learn from your mistakes, don't hide content kids!

now i have the annoying task of going through all my old pages, sigh. and i'm in norway all next week with no internet or computer.

poo burp

other important areas of my site:

the world famous dumpster diving blog
the not famous city cycling blog
my cop15 blog from copenhagen
julie keller's homepage
laurence's drug guide (featuring malarone, larium, imodium, etc)
my evolutionary art project
the kilimanjaro climb for charity
my guide to cheap toys (art toys, qees, dunnys, etc) (under construction)

emo photos:

boys and girls, here's a brief selection of emo photos

emo photo	photograph	emo girl	emo hair
emo band				emo boy

Other stuff: cabin trip - drunken butterfly - dumpster diving / fnb -

08.02.2010: since i kept my food diary up for the whole week, for absolutely no reason, the least i could do is post it here. it wasn't even a very good week for meals. we had an excess of potatoes from dumspter diving and struggled with a few meals because we forgot to buy food. and i normally don't eat so many fried egg sandwiches. next time i record what i eat i'll definitely make more of an effort to make it look impressive.

day 1

porridge (generally 1 cup oats, 1 cup soya milk, 1 apple, raisins, blue berries, prunes, dates)
fried egg sandwich with hummus
large plate of rice with mixed veg and kidney beans
toast slice with tartex

day 2

porridge
smoothie (banana, apple, carrot, soya milk)
ciabatta roll with nut paste and artichoke paste
fried egg sandwich
pancake with jam
leftover nutroast cubed with bulgar, beans and veg

day 3

porridge
bread with onion and nut paste
rye bread with artichoke paste
bag of sunflower seeds and rasins
thai curry with spring rolls and rice
pancake with jam

day 4

porridge
fried egg sandwich
pasta with fake meats, tomatoes, olives, pine nuts

day 5

porridge
hash browns with cannellini bean, cucumber and red pepper salad
red and yellow lentils in tomato sauce with mixed veg, kidney beans and rice
falafals with hummus and salad (at 4am)

day 6

porridge
rice cakes
roast potatoes, vege fillet, peas and spinach

day 7

porridge
ciabatta with fried egg
curry with potato, chickpeas and paneer
rice cakes
lots of dates

you can tell i love porridge, right?

that last dinner is interesting, you'll notice i ate cheese. we made it ourselves from dumpster dived milk, and that seemed somehow removed enough for me to eat. it's zero impact ("freegan", if you must), so my ethical reasons for me being non-dairy remain intact. but for some reason i don't want to otherwise consume cheese or milk that we've found in the trash. it seems like an arbitary distinction, but it's the one i'm comfortable with. i'm beginning to just not want to eat cheese. it's no longer an issue about will power. but making cheese from waste, that's just too exciting too miss. i don't know. i'm being wishy washy i know, but my slow slide into veganism is going very well, much better than it would have done if i made the transition suddenly.

and better than yours anyways.

07.02.2010: the day after a studenterhuset night shift is always the same. all meta deja vu and nothing. i hate getting deja vu about getting deja vu. clearly i'm watching too many time travel films. but there was actually quite a lot to enjoy about triangle, in a kind of post primer, not really about time travel, sisyphus kind of way.

i spend most of the day playing doom rogue-like. if you don't know it, well rogue is probably the best game ever written (and no doubt the reason why i loved spelunky so much), and if it's not then doom is. so what you have here is the perfect combination. and it's got a bastard hard learning curve. it took me a few goes to get through the second level, but after a few more tries i managed all the way to level 15. to illustrate, here are my death levels in order - 1, 2, 2, 2, 2, 4, 8, 15. damn that fucking mancubus, if it wasn't for that blubbery bastard i'd have made it to a nice pattern-forming level 16. first time i'd seen one too, i clearly had no chance.

now all we need is rogue doom-like. please.

just let me finish playing this level first.

but it was a nice night at studenterhuset. relatively easy. lots of people ordering two pints and leaving one on the bar. no annoying thumping techno, only mildly annoying guns and roses and linkin park. maybe offspring. if there was any nickelback i blocked it from my mind. and the new guy actually asked this time if i wanted anything specific for post-shift food, so it was easy getting my falafels. except they came without pita or durum. that'll teach me to be over specific. but they were nourishing enough. not to mention tasty.

now i'm off to relearn SQL properly.

03.02.2010: i do love cycling in the snow though. the misleading calm. the volume turned down on the city. as if the snow absorbs all the sound. hardly anyone around. the world reduced down to a snow globe, an ever contracting sphere of influence. it's just you and the twenty meters of white space in every direction.

i only came off my bike once, but it was proper. felt fantastic. but only because no one i know saw. i'm reminded of how good i am at falling off my bike.

much later, looking up into a sky that's lighter during the night than during the day. the dull grey replaced by the pink glow of reflected sodium. like fallout from the future. like being transposed into a completely different universe. it must terrify the birds. should terrify all of us.

even later i'm wondering my it hurts on my hip and the side of my knee. because i'm stupid.

02.02.2010: happy febuary everybody. we finally made it!

so i spent most of yesterday updating my seo cv, excited by the prospect of a temporary inhouse job, only to find out that the position had already been filled. would it have been so much effort to remove the vacancy? but nevermind, the application (actually, i didn't apply, i was merely inquiring) played its role. i'm now geared up to look for a 'proper' job. or at least a spate of cold calling (hey, it worked last time).

last few days i've had a to-do list. they've been going very well. i'm not sure how much i have to show for it, but there's been lots of crossing off. and by not including things like "get dentist" i can even finish a whole list by dinner time. what this means is that some of you might be receiving a package from me shortly. it also means you can go to the drunken butterlfy HQ and download a gorgeous package containing everything you need to make your own copy of our previous CD (you know, the one with songs about fucking your cousin, etc). you can download our new album too, but you have to ask me first. i think that's only fair.

we've also all started doing food diaries. i can't even remember why (maybe it was julie's worm). so there's a lot of lists everywhere. there's probably even a list of the lists somewhere. us unemployed have to do something right?

sitting here waiting for the snow storm to come. apparently we have another twenty five minutes until it arrives. people have been talking about it all morning. it better have been worth it.

28.01.2010: it feels like i've been gone a long time. i'm intermittent on my website. i don't know why. words don't spontaneously form in my head like they used to. haven't for a while. i guess our brains slow down as we get older. that's why time appears to speed up. but this isn't true, we all know that time accelerates as we approach the apocalypse. and if you plot the popularity of disaster films on a graph it is evident that they have exponential growth. this is obviously the forthcoming ultimate disaster rippling back through time and affecting our consciousness, in the same way that dropping a stone into water sends waves in all directions. it transcends everything anthropomorphic, time included. our episodic nature, arguably our greatest ability, is also our greatest weakness.

some cold photos from paris. very cold.

i've been fisking a lot this week. well, three shifts. it's been nice to get back into it. right now i'm just chilling, listening to some old dandy warhols, drinking some coffee, staring out across an open shop. piercing sunlight outside. it's lovely. but my bike looks so sad out there in the dirty snow, chained to the lamppost. yesterday i came out of the gym and couldn't find my bike. i knew it was one of those lumps of snow, but which? halfway home and i'm getting honked at by an impatient driver for cycling in the road. i hadn't even realised. with one eye half open and the other eye shut, the pavement and cycle path covered in snow, how was i to know? i was just following the tracks. all else is pretty much suicide. my scarf was soaked through, rings of ice around my eyes. the two minute cycle took almost ten. massive fun. at fisk people couldn't believe i'd been cycling in this weather. meh, in toronto we had snow storms all the time. i love the isolation of cycling through a whiteout. it's only you and the sloppy tarmac only half a second away, two tonnes of metal sliding out of control just behind the curtain.

at language class i watched a girl boil a full kettle, just to put a few drops of it in her cup of water to warm it up. but i like my new teacher. almost straight away she noticed we'd not focused enough on our mundtlige. that's from changing teacher every few weeks, they don't learn where your pronunciation fails, don't pick you up every time you screw up the difference between u and y. you need that, else you repeat mistakes and they become ingrained. i'll never be able to say the difference between grundbog and groenbog. ymer.

23.01.2010: if only it wasn't so cold i could stop and appreciate all these wonderful views the winter has to offer. people congregating across the frozen lakes, tour boats pushing through the ice on the canal, seagulls swooping down, chipping at whatever they can find. if only water froze at a higher temperature, right? the stupidest thought i've ever had. but warm icecream, tasty. this snow/hail is like a hundred tiny needles stabbing you in the face. rear wheel bike brakes are almost completely useless.

i really needed that hindbaersnitter today. mac-a-roar-noon

so we joined the gym last week. it felt really good to get back on the machines. i was even surprised. i've found myself looking forward to it everytime we go. what is it about running machines i like so much? something about that constant grind, trance-like state, and all that energy put into going nowhere. or that i can actually run quite fast for quite long whilst on one. no more shitty air resistance.

and then we're at band practice, taking a beer break, and the woman who runs the antique shop next to our practice room comes out to give us some beers. except she only had two left, so she gives us a bottle of vodka instead. she's crazy amazing. we had a look round her shop and i counted about five half smoked cigars lying around the place.

fingers hurt from cutting out. like being at pre-school again. except they never let three year olds play with scissors, so it's not like that at all. nevermind.

play leaf instead. it's much more fun than listening to me.

19.01.2010: i feel compelled to drop another quote from the the road, just incase you've seen that depressing movie and need to know why i loved the book so much. the film misses out what's so beautiful about the book, the words:

at evening a dull sulphur light from the fires. the standing water in the roadside ditches black with the runoff. the mountains shrouded away. a river where skeins of ash and slurry move slowly in the current. charred bits of wood. the cold and the silence. the ashes of the late world carried on the bleak and temporal winds to and fro in the void. carried forth and scattered and carried forth again. everything uncoupled from its shoring. unsupported in the ashen air. the city moatly burned. no sign of life. cars in the street caked with ash, everything covered with ash and dust. fossil tracks in the dried sludge. a corpse in the doorway dried to leather. grimacing at the day.

i just typo'd "girls" instead of "films". isn't that a weird one.

and since i'm talking about words and pictures, kind of, i really liked these beatles infographics, especially the song keys. they're very interesting and intuitive ways of looking at musical progression.

and while i'm linking you up, i'd also like to recommend this defuse game, which entertained me greatly for 2758 seconds (during which time my attention was variably split between several tasks, and i died 39 times. but this isn't a competition).

and two photos:

the first is of angouleme train station, and is about as satisfying an unoccupied photo i can take these days. the second is taken from my parents new property on the very same morning. they're less used to snow in france than they are in england. the french, not my parents.